From my experience (10 years together; a few months married so far)…
- Remember that your partner is their own person with their own feelings, needs, wants, dislikes, and so on. Just because they may not show their feelings about something, doesn’t mean they don’t have them. Try to be aware the current situation and think about how it may be affecting them, or how you would feel if you were them (even if you feel like you are the one suffering at the moment).
- If you are in a serious long relationship, try to give all kinds of breaks to your partner. If you know them inside and out, don’t act like you just met. If they do something that hurts you, think about the fact that they would never TRY to hurt you. You have to be willing to forgive and discuss and move on. If it’s really bothering you, talk to your partner about why it bothers you and explain without just yelling or blaming them. Communication is key.
- If you are in a new relationship, try to learn about each other. Sometimes you have to do things you might not love to do, but it may mean the world to the other person. Relationships take work. You don’t have to be identical to your partner for it work, but having some common core things that you agree on definitely helps.
- No matter where you are in your relationship, try to have fun together in your free time. You don’t have to spend every free second together. It’s actually healthy for the two of you to still have your own things and hobbies that you can do on your own. Some people need that time to themselves, so if you are not that type of person, try not to feel hurt if your partner is. It doesn’t mean they can’t stand to be around you, it just means they need that time to themselves to feed their minds and souls. Alone time can be therapeutic. You can try to find a new hobby or just go on a quiet walk on a nice day. Focus on the nature around you or find a new favorite place to visit. The key is to give each other space but still be able to find things to do that doesn’t sound terrible to either of you.
- I mentioned before about how communication is key. I can’t stress that enough. If you can’t talk to your partner about something, that’s where the problem starts. You have to decide if you are willing to ruin your relationship over not telling them about things that bother you. Yes it may be awkward and hard at first, but the more you communicate your feelings, the more you will learn how your partner prefers to communicate about theirs as well. I’m not saying to nag your partner about every little thing they do that bothers you. I’m talking about the more important things that need to be discussed. And you’d be surprised to find out why it is that your partner may not communicate their feelings. It took me 5 years to get my guy to even tell me why it is he doesn’t like talking about his feelings. After I knew the reason, it was much easier for us both to just get it out there and be open about how we both felt.
So I hope this helped some of you. I know this was long, but once I start typing, my brain just goes into overdrive. I hope you all have a Happy Valentines Day!
Feel free to ask me any questions if something was confusing or unclear!
(again not an expert, just from my experience)