I feel like people think they have to try to find a way to relate to everyone. Especially if that person is going through something hard or sad or whatever it may be.
This morning, I woke up feeling my normal achy tired self but was in an okay mood because of the wonderful last 3 days I had just had. I came to work and got a lot done before lunch. I still felt extremely tired/sleepy as I do most mornings though, just trying to push through to keep working.
Then something happened that made my mood spiral. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, it makes me so angry and want to just curl up in myself and never talk to anyone at all.
Someone at work, who sort of knows about my health issues, asked how I was feeling. I could tell that I looked tired like I always do in the morning. I explained (again) that because of my condition, that mornings are really hard for me because of my low blood pressure and how it just takes me a long time to get going each day.
And that’s when it happened. This person starts talking about how they have the same symptoms as me and they know just what I’m going through and how tired they are all the time. (This person goes to the gym regularly and as far as I can tell lives a normal life.)
If I rake the yard for 20 minutes, it takes me days to recover. There is a difference in being tired and having a condition with several debilitating symptoms that control everything I can and can’t do.
I know I shouldn’t let it get to me like this, but it is just so frustrating to have people who go out and live a normal life and come and go as they please, and then try to tell me that they know what it’s like to go through what I go through.
I’m starting to feel better as far as my mood (partly because I finally just ate lunch) but I still wanted to write about this situation because it’s something that I feel like is worth talking about.
You don’t have to relate to what someone is going through to make a connection with that person. Just listen and be there when they want to talk about something. If you ask something and they seem uncomfortable about it, don’t push the subject. Don’t act like you know their hardship when you don’t because chances are, you are just going to end up offending them and making them feel like you are saying their struggle is not real or that it’s not a big deal because everyone has their own struggles.
You can try to help someone but if you don’t have any idea how, start by asking how you can help them. Ask if they need anything or if they want to talk about anything. If you just assume you know how to help them and start offering things, you may end up actually causing them real mental pain without realizing it.
So just be careful when giving your 2 cents about miracle cures or something you read online about a special herb or vitamin that could cure what they have. People who are chronically ill have accepted for the most part that their journey will be long and hard. What doesn’t make it any easier is having people who have no idea what they are talking about, make it seem like we don’t want to get better and just don’t want to accept the crazy tips they just read online.
Communication is key to moving forward and making sure we are helping others and not making their life harder.
That’s the end of my rant (for now). If you have experience with this on either side, feel free to let me know! ❤